Mommyisms of a 23 year old

The past week has left me up all night for several nights. Writing is my outlet, and for some reason, mommyhood was on my mind the past week or so. Here's some brutal honesty from a 23-year-old mother of two (under three!):

First of all, I cannot stress this enough: If you are a parent, just because you are young doesn't mean you get to act like it all the time. I'm twenty-three years old, but I have a husband and two toddlers. That's not the same twenty-three as the single recent college graduate with no responsibilities. When you're single, or even just married, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. No hassle, no one to answer to or worry about. You are Numero Uno. The minute you decide to have a child, that child is the only thing in the world that matters anymore. Like, at all. You have another life to worry about. And you have to grow up. Fast. You owe it to your baby to make them the center of your life. That's where they belong. You live for nothing else except that life growing inside you, and later, the life and person that you brought into this world.


Having a baby changes everything, no matter if you're trying to get pregnant or not.
If you're considering mommyhood, you need to think about a few things before you go volunteering your uterus to act as an oven for the next 40 weeks.

Ladies, you need to make sure you see past the cute nursery decor ideas and the adorable newborn photoraphs on Pinterest. It's not all bows and ribbons and cute frills. My best friend thought that she was ready to be mom... until she became one.

You need to smell a bottle that rolled under the car seat two weeks ago that you just didn't see. Or change a diaper that should have been changed thirty minutes ago, but you ran out of diapers in the car and had to wait until you got home, but by then it was too late.

Stay up all night with a baby that's crying and you have no idea what to do to make her stop. Trade shifts with your grumpy husband, then start crying because you're both snapping at each other because you haven't slept in days.

Carry an infant carrier with you everywhere you go for a year. EVERY time you get out of the car. EVERY time you go in the house. EVERY time you go pay for gas. EVERY time you go into Starbucks to grab a coffee. EVERY time you run to the ATM. EVERY time you do anything at all. Every time? EVERY TIME.

Before you leave the house, pack an entire bag separate from your purse with your car keys, cell phone, wallet, debit card, ID, money, lip gloss, compact, tampons, etc. Make sure you pack a diaper bag. This includes (but is not limited to) formula, bottled water, diapers, scented diaper disposal bags, hand sanitizer, wipes, a few extra outfits, a pacifier, bibs, a burp cloth, an extra pair of socks, an extra bottle, diaper cream, toys, your baby's favorite book, snacks, Capri Suns, and Tylenol- just in case. Do this every single time you leave your house for three years. Every. Single. Time.

Sex? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. When the baby gets here, you're off-limits for at least six weeks, and let's be honest, you're not even ready to be touched then. He's huffing and puffing, not realizing the great Act of God you've just performed to birth his offspring. When you finally are feeling up to it again, you're always just getting good and into it when BAM!- the monitor erupts into wails and it's time to make a bottle. Then after he eats, he has to burp, and you might as well change him since he's up. He's being fussy, so when you lay him down he belts out a high-pitched scream, so you have to bounce him to sleep for twenty minutes. By the time he's out, you stumble into bed, where your husband has already passed out across the bed, drooling onto your pillow. Good luck.

What music? You mean the stuff that you might occassionally hear on the radio if your baby falls asleep on the way home from a semi-long car ride? Once they get old enough to know better, your car is dominated by Disney sing-a-longs and Taylor Swift. I don't even know what it's like to listen to what I want to any more. Tyler and I used to fight over the radio; now we fight with the kids over it.


Not long ago, you used to have a group of best friends. Now you have a husband, a baby, and if you're lucky, one other really good friend who has stuck by you through everything, and even then you don't get to talk like you used to. Responsibilities and life get in the way. If you're parenting correctly, you don't have much time for friends. It sucks, but it's true. Brutal honesty here.

Why would anybody in their right mind sign up for this? It's not fun. It's hard. It's brutal. It will test you to your limits and make you feel like you're about to break.
It's worth it- when you're ready- but if you're questioning getting pregnant (or getting pregnant again,  Future Self), think about these things. These are reality.

I LOVE my kids- to the moon and back again. But they are HARD.
If you aren't ready, wait. You have all the time in the world. If you are, join the club and realize what it's like to live your life in a constant whirlwind of sippy cups and Goldfish. :)

Motivation

Motivation from my friend Ally :)

http://theblogofmowr.blogspot.com/2012/07/hey-sexy-loser.html

Everything is falling into place...

Welcome to my crazy busy, hectic, beautiful, evolving life.

I got a promotion at work, and I have loads more hours and loads more responsibilities. I'm so thankful! I absolutely love my job and I love the people I work with. I'm so blessed to be given the chance to get this experience while working toward my degree. It doesn't suck that my boss loves everything I write, either. :)

I'm also blessed to have a babysitter that is wonderful with my children while I'm at work. She goes above and beyond just making sure my kids don't kill themselves while I'm gone- she works with them on their Letters of the Week, finger paints with them, and more. This was my biggest setback when it came to actually finding a "real" job. I didn't trust a stranger to keep my kids, nor did I want them in a big room full of other kids where they could be exposed to germs and all sorts of other habits other children may introduce them to. Kindergarten is coming soon enough- I want to keep my babies as innocent and precious as I can for as long as I can, thanks.

Everything has just fallen into place perfectly. I feel like an "adult", like I've finally gotten my crap together and am contributing to my family's well-being while still being able to spend time with my children. Twenty-five hours a week is the perfect amount for me, money-wise and time-wise. I'm so so so so so so SO thankful.

As everything falls together, I've come to realize that other things must fall apart in order for them to do so. People you swore would never let you down, do. "Sometimes, you just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they'll notice. If they don't, then you know where you stand." And that's okay. Being a wife and being a mother are the most important roles I can play in life, and I've got to learn to let go of the rest. And slowly, but surely, I am. 

Life is evolving into a beautiful place for this girl right now. <3

Haunted.

I have a secret.

There's a WHOLE other blog I've been keeping super private for a while now, for lots and lots and lots of reasons.

But tonight I'm sharing a post from it because I so intensely love this song right now.

Music is my therapy. Music is what takes my mind off a bad day, sends me into an alternate universe where I live, and where I stay inside my head when I'm in the car for the two-hour commute I drive four days a week now.

________________________________________________________________________

"People haven't always been there for me, but music has." -Taylor Swift

There is a point in a relationship where you finally break a fragile line that you have so carefully been treading to avoid. That moment when you know that no matter what, Things will never Be the same, and you will be haunted by that person, that relationship, for the rest of your life.

"Holding my breath, won't lose you again. Something's made your eyes go cold. Come on, come on, don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured out. Something's gone terribly wrong; you're all I wanted. Come on, come on, don't leave me like this. I thought I had you figured out. Can't breathe whenever you're gone- I can't go back; I'm haunted. Stood there and watched you walk away from everything we had, but I still mean every word I said to you."

LOL

Every once in a while, Tyler will bust out with something that gets me laughing 'til my sides hurt. Tonight, that happened.

We just got back into the hotel room from our trip to the Magic Kingdom and got the kids bathed and in bed. Then as we are unwinding from the day, talking about all the different experiences and stuff, we started talking about all the people that we encountered that were from different countries.

In order for you to understand how funny this is, you need to understand the situation, so I'm just gonna be candid with you.

Here's how I feel about it: I am not self-centered enough to NOT want to share America with you. Just don't come here and be rude! (Don't even pretend like you haven't had this conversation before, because you have!) I literally was sitting down on a bench when an old Persian man literally slid in underneath me. No, not kidding.

ANYway, we decided to post up an hour early to get ready for the Electrical Parade, and in doing so we got some pretty great seats in relation to the parade. So we settled into place at about 8:00 (the parade started at 9). About 8:50 rolls around and there's a family sitting at our feet (who was there right about the time we were) and we are up on a brick wall. Then a French dude sits down literally almost on top of me, in a squeeze space that Skyler had once been sitting in. French dude > Skyler. Then his wife asks me if I can scoot down. I looked up at her, said "No", and turned back around. Then five minutes later, as the parade was about to start, three Chinese ladies who didn't understand English at all guestured asking to squeeze between us and the family at our feet. Luckily, the other mom took care of them before I had to.

So, this is the situation you need to understand when hearing what sent me to the floor doubled over in a fit of giggles.

Me: "...yeah, did you see that French guy sit on me?"

Tyler: "Yeah, and that Persian dude that stole that bench as you were about to sit down. If he hadn't been older, I would've punched him in the face."

Me: "And those Chinese ladies at the parade!"

Tyler: "They just need to learn: This is America. We like our space, bitch. Why do you think we kicked the Indians out?"

I died. :)