Changes and closure.

It's been two years since I've posted on here.
The woman writing this post now is nowhere near the woman I was in 2012. I can't even begin to describe how much I've changed. And my God, how I have grown.

Divorce is such an ugly word. I never thought I would be a product of it. But here I am, divorced at 25 with two kids. Not exactly where I thought life would be for me at this point. It took a long time- a LONG time- to accept it. To stop blaming each other, to stop hurting each other, to get past the anger and the bullshit and the fighting. Eventually, though, we did. That isn't to say that there aren't times where we get irritated with each other and snap at one another via texts or a comment or two under our breaths. But for the most part, we're okay. We've both moved on. I'm with someone now that makes me realize exactly why it never worked with Tyler, and he seems to be really happy, too. It's nice to be in a good, mentally healthy place about it and know that we are both happy.

I wrote him an email a few weeks ago, and I just wanted to share it. I feel like acceptance is the last part of letting go, and that's where we both are. 

Hey,
Just wanted to tell you again how thankful I am for you. I know I sound like a broken record, but I just have grown a lot lately and I want you to really know how I feel. Sometimes I suck with words (you know this), so I thought it would be easier for me to tell you via email.
Although the thought of "us" and "the Bryan family" still stings a little, I've come to accept it for what it was. You are an incredible man, Tyler, and I was lucky to grow up and grow into an adult with you by my side every step of the way. You taught me most of the things my dad should have, and I know that sounds a little odd, but I mean it in a loving way. You took care of me, you taught me things, and then you gave me two beautiful children. And not only are you a good dad who comes to the games, you are a great dad who wants to coach. I will always love you for that. I will always consider you a part of my family; hell, you are my family. I feel blessed that I had you by my side when I entered something as life changing as parenthood, along with all the other things we achieved together, if only for a while.
I'll always cherish those nights in the house at Acworth and how safe you made me feel. I will never settle for less than a man's character if he doesn't match yours. I know that, at least, I did that part right with you. You are a good man, Tyler Bryan.
I hope you find happiness with someone new, be it Brittany or someone in the future. I hope she appreciates your love for Jim Morrison. I hope she makes amazing spaghetti and can cook a mean hamburger. I hope that every time you see her, you realize why our lives turned out like this. I hope your heart never stops fluttering when you think of her, and you never get in a routine or feel bored. I hope you find someone who knows all the words to your favorite RHCP and Slightly Stoopid songs, and will laugh at how cute you are when you sing along to Rehab. I hope she appreciates how good you look and all the work you put into your body. I hope she sees your scars as beauty marks that have shaped you into the incredible man that you are today.
I will always love your memory, and I will always love you with the piece of my heart that you own.

-Lindsey